The reason why the ten stages has become a taught study course is that it is painful thing to wake up

The reason why the ten stages has become a taught study course is that it is painful thing to wake up — and make contact with your child within. It breaks rules. It angers the norm. It enrages parents. It puts a target on your back. And it hurts. It hurts like hell. It hurts to reconnect to open the locked door breaking down the nursery wall and feel the old traumas, the old longings, the old memories. It hurts to grieve, to feel the rage, to confront the perpetrators, to break the denial. It hurts to shed the mask of comfort and walk into the despair. It hurts to reject the fantasy of one day being loved by those who never really loved you and instead failed to nurture. It hurts to leave the family system behind. It hurts to stand on your own.

Yet this process of waking up, and this alone, is the path of our recovery back to life — to a long, healthy inner life. This is the cure for the child withins abandonment .