How To Transmute our Negative Energy With Meditation

Suffering is one of the undeniable facts of life that motivate our practice.

It was coming face-to-face with aging, illness and death, that inspired the Buddha to leave his palace and his family behind, and set out on the path of awakening.

In a sense, the story of Siddhartha Gautama is a metaphor for all of us. We begin the spiritual search because we are not content with material life. Worldly pleasures do not make us happy, only more and more hungry and disillusioned.

Through study and meditation we seek to find an answer, a solution to our own suffering, as well as a way to relieve the suffering we see in the world around us.

The practice of Tonglen meditation offers us both at once.
History of Tonglen

Tonglen is a Tibetan word which means “giving and taking.” As a spiritual practice, it refers to the sending and receiving of energy; taking in the negative (pain, suffering, fear, etc.) and giving back the positive (peace, joy, comfort, well-being).

The practice can be traced back to 11th century Tibet, and the Kadampa school of Buddhism founded by Dromton Rinpoche. Dromton credits his teacher, Atisha, with training him in Tonglen practice, and tradition holds that Atisha learned it from his teacher Serlingpa, in Sumatra.

Buddhism is often said to have “two wings,” which work together to lift the aspirant to enlightenment: wisdom (insight into the true nature of reality) and compassion (selflessness, caring, loving-kindness). Tonglen belongs to the latter – it’s intended to cultivate compassion and open the practitioner’s heart.

But just as it takes two wings to fly, so wisdom and compassion are both necessary on the spiritual path. Compassion is to be informed by wisdom, insight, and right understanding.

Tonglen was developed and taught as part of a larger discipline called lojong, or “mind training.”

It is assumed that the practitioner has already acquired a thorough understanding of Buddhist philosophy (desire, karma, impermanence, the illusory nature of the ego, etc.), and is skilled at the basic techniques of meditation (posture, breathing, concentration and mindfulness).

With these foundations firmly in place, Tonglen is offered as a practice to aid in further spiritual development.
Benefits of Tonglen

The regular practice of Tonglen brings many health benefits associated meditation and deep relaxation, including:
relieves stress and anxiety
lowers cortisol levels
lowers blood pressure
reduces swelling and inflammation
relieves chronic pain
strengthens the immune system

Tonglen meditation has not been studied, specifically and exclusively, as thoroughly as other forms of meditation. Yet it has much in common with other traditions – especially metta, or loving-kindness meditation.

They’re both essentially forms of compassion training, and indeed, metta meditation might traditionally have been a preliminary training for the practice of Tonglen.

Compassion training – like loving-kindness meditation – has been studied and linked to many social and psychological benefits. Tonglen then, because it too increases compassion toward self and others, can be said to bring about the same benefits, including:
improved emotional intelligence
better mood regulation
reduced symptoms of depression
increases positive emotions and overall happiness and well-being
improved confidence and self-esteem
more sense of connection and belonging

Besides cultivating compassion, the practice of Tonglen is said to bring many personal and spiritual benefits, which although not scientifically proven, have been attested to by countless practitioners down through the centuries:
overcomes our fear of, and aversion to, pain and suffering
relieves the pain and suffering of others
generates good karma
reverses our usual selfish thinking
reduces attachment or “clinging”
dissolves our “emotional armor” and opens our hearts

Through the practice of Tonglen, we are essentially transmuting spiritual energy. We take in the dark, dense energy of suffering and ignorance, and we transmute it into the clean, pure energy of compassion, peace, happiness and freedom.

Not just for our own benefit, but for the benefit of all beings.
How To Practice Tonglen In 7 Steps

Tonglen can be practiced either as a formal sitting meditation, or practiced anywhere, anytime, as you go about your daily life. For our purposes, we’ll first discuss the formal method, as that is the ideal way to learn the practice, then we’ll talk about how to take your practice “off the mat” and into the world.
1. Get Centered

To begin with, go to your favourite meditation spot, sit down, and get comfortable. Take a few minutes to just relax and breathe, to settle in, to quiet your mind, and become centred and present here and now.

When you are ready, proceed to Step 2.

2. Call To Mind Someone Who Is Suffering
Think of someone you know who is hurting, or struggling in some way.

Call up a clear picture of them in your mind, see them as vividly as possible. Whatever it is they are going through – depression, illness, financial troubles, divorce or bad break up, etc. – imagine how hard it is, and what they might be feeling.

Really put yourself in their shoes, and try to understand the extent of their suffering; physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. The point is to feel that pain like it is your own (because it is), and to let it crack open your heart with compassion.

3. Breathe In Their Pain

Now imagine that you can relieve them of their pain, by taking it upon yourself.

Buddhist tradition instructs us to envision the other person’s suffering as a dark cloud of ash or smoke, and to breathe it in. Take a deep breath, and breathe in all that pain, fear, exhaustion, sadness, loneliness and suffering; all of the negative energy. Welcome it and accept it as your own.

As you breathe in, you may say silently, “May you be free from suffering.”

4. Transmute Darkness Into Light

Pause for just a moment, between the in-breath and the out-breath.

And as you do, take that energy into your heart, your innermost self, where the Sun of awareness is shining. There, all that pain and suffering is transmuted, cleansed and purified — it becomes fuel for the fire of awakening. See that cloud of misery consumed by the pure light of awareness.

But that’s not all that is consumed. As you take on the suffering of others, and transmute it, your own fear and ignorance, your pettiness, selfishness, your clinging ego, is burned up along with it.

The poison becomes the medicine. The problem becomes the solution. What you instinctively fear and avoid becomes the vehicle of your liberation, your greatest joy.

5. Send Them Peace

Now as you breathe out, send that person good vibrations – a pure white light, the energy of life, peace, happiness, well-being, relaxation, safety and freedom.

Visualize that light and energy going into their mind and body, healing and rejuvenating them. See it going into their heart, the very core of their being, bringing them relief and peace, giving them new courage and strength.

As you exhale, you may say, “May you have happiness.”

6. Repeat

Repeat steps 3 – 5 for a few minutes, or as long as you wish.

Each time you breathe in, you take in the other’s dark energy, their pain and suffering. You take it into your heart, where it is transmuted, transformed into pure light, compassionate awareness. Then you breathe out, and send them that pure, life-giving energy.

With each cycle, see them becoming more calm and at peace, more healthy and happy and strong. Until finally, in your mind’s eye, they are totally free from suffering, radiant with light and life and energy, awake to their true Buddha nature.

7. Move On To Someone Else

At this point, you may call someone else into your mind, and then continue the practice.

Traditionally, practitioners are instructed to bring in others who are suffering in a similar way. For example, if you are practicing Tonglen for someone who is ill, then you would bring to your mind others who are ill, or injured, or in need of physical healing.

It’s worth noting that Tonglen can be practiced for entire groups of people – like a community in grief, a nation ravaged by war, or all people who are hungry or homeless.
Notes On The Practice

While the above 7 steps cover the basic practice in detail, there are some finer points about the tradition and application of Tonglen that should be clarified.

Where To Begin?

According to Buddhist tradition, Tonglen practice should begin with your mother – the idea being that she embodies caring, kindness and unconditional love, and thinking of her should help you to open your heart.

Nowadays, we must allow some flexibility on this point. Not everyone has a good relationship with their mother, and it might be that calling her to mind might bring up deep childhood issues, and stir up all kinds of hurt, anger and resentment.

That’s not the best way to begin this practice.

So start with someone who does embody caring, kindness and unconditional love for you. It could be your father, your best friend, your child or your lover – it doesn’t matter, as long as it is someone to whom it is easy to open your heart.

Guided Meditations across the North Yorks Moors in a Jeep a modern pilgrims progress

Quiet a while ago I had a persistent dream. Long and at that time very confusing.It started with these words..."Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children."  a guided meditation can be a powerful way to encourage visualisation and deeper meditation. Better yet, seek out a teacher. Guided meditations will help you set your intention for what you want to work on, from dealing with trauma to fulfilling dreams, getting rid of bad habits, etc.This I and a number of friends did crossing the often wild North Yorks Moors in all sorts of weather for the next eighteen months a motley crew of ex hells angels, hare krishna priest and a social psychologist in an open jeep.

Guided meditations can often be found free through many different apps. Another option is brain wave music, which moves the hemispheres of the brain into alpha, delta and theta states, which help to de-program old thought patterns.We chose Tibetan Buddhist Monks in a victorian library in an old victorian resort
We became Consistent in our search for meditation willing to listen.

The more frequent you practice, the better. Find the time of day that resonates with you most and stick to it. Want to complement your practice even more? Restorative meditation is incredibly beneficial for relaxation and pain control.

Accessing our subconscious can help change your harmful thought patterns and take you out of feeling like you’re living life on autopilot. With a regular practice, you’ll enjoy a new sense of well-being, passion and purpose.This was a long time in coming to fruition.

In our day-to-day lives, we're constantly in an alert, conscious state of mind. In the beta state, our brains are very active as we navigate through the day, sometimes feeling like we are on autopilot as we form our experiences. In this active beta state, our brain is over-stimulated, which in yoga is often referred to as "the monkey mind." Here, everything comes to us as doubts, fears, to-dos, emotions, and it can really cloud our minds and trains of thought.

Studies have shown that in our conscious state, we're only using between 1 and 5 percent of our brain’s resources. So if we're only functioning at 1 to 5 percent, how are we really living our lives with true purpose? Where's the other 95 to 99 percent?

The answer is found in our powerful subconscious, where the alpha, delta and theta states provide us with calm, deep relaxation and dreamlike states. The subconscious is where the magic happens, and where the imagination is stored. This state is where we can de-program our thought processes of doubt and fear, and where we tap into our authentic self without the judgment and criticism of our conscious state interfering.

 The subconscious mind "ultimately casts the deciding vote" on how much abundance, happiness and success you will experience.  The subconscious is "one million times more powerful" than our conscious mind.

My experience with my own subconscious state was in a guided meditation with a female buddhist monk. She had us sit on the ground  as she guided us through. I remember how calm and peaceful I felt; it was a definite breakthrough from my normal, conscious experience that stayed with me all these years. I felt like I was on an amazing adventure through time and space.

Over the coming years, I’m grateful to have developed the skill of "tapping in" through mindfulness. I’ve found mindfulness to be even deeper and more powerful than hypnosis. My research led me to discover that masters, scientists, mystic and motivational speakers all refer to the subconscious as "where it’s at" to transform old thought patterns and bad habits. All of these great thinkers, from ancient times to modern times, know just how powerful tapping into our subconscious can be to access the greatness within.

Living with dissociation We have no idea that we grew up emotionally neglected.

Living with dissociation We have no idea that we grew up emotionally neglected.

We give, our care for others, and we try to feel that we belong. Or, sometimes, we simply try to feel anything.

But alas, too often, we come up empty.

Some are our neighbours, our friends, our brothers and sisters, our husbands or wives. Who are quietly suffering with an invisible ghost from their past, with no way to understand or name it.

There is a reason that Childhood Emotional Abuse is so hard to recognise. It dwells in the background – in things not said, and in actions not taken. Emotional Abuse is not just something, it’s the absence of something which, truth be told, has far more power.

Living with unknown emotional abuse is like living under a box. It’s a dark cloud hanging over us, weighing us down and holding us back. It saps the joy and energy from our life, and leaves us feeling lost and alone, no matter how many people surround us. Secretly, deep down, we are left to wonder who we are, and if we actually even matter.

When someone we care about grew up without enough emotional validation and emotional attention , we may feel in some ways very close to him (or her) but yet in other ways, very far away. Even though we like or love someone, we sense that something is missing in our relationship. Somehow, in some way, something is not quite right.

How can our self be both connected and disconnected; loving but yet distant? It’s because our adult self has pushed emotions away in order to cope in the original childhood home. Now, fully grown, we are living our life without proper access to our own feelings and emotions.

Now as an adult, we do not truly know what another feels, needs or wants. We don’t even realise that it matters.

If we know someone who may fit this description, perhaps we’ve been feeling somewhat confused. After all, if our person doesn’t know what’s wrong with them, how can we?

The dissociated is always there for you when you need her, but she seldom asks you for anything. Self-contained and independent, she can handle it all herself, and prefers to do so.Conversations are weighted in your direction. You want to hear more about your person’s life, but your questions for her are typically met with attempts to steer the focus back on you.She is excessively flexible. She expresses few preferences, and often does not seem to know what she wants or likes.She seems to have something like a protective shield around her. Sometimes you want to try harder to connect with her emotionally, but it just feels banned somehow; as if to do so might make her uncomfortable, or drive her further away.She avoids conversations that involve feelings, and becomes uneasy with any demonstrations of emotion. Tears, anger, hurt, and maybe even joy can seem to make your person acutely uncomfortable.

If you see elements of these signs in your friend, family member or spouse, you are in a difficult position.

Your heart tells you to reach your hand across the chasm, but somehow it feels like your person may not reach back. Perhaps it may even feel somehow wrong to reach out. In truth, it probably feels this way because your person has built an invisible wall of dissociation to protect herself, and that wall stands between the two of you.

 Reach Through Your dissociates Wall
When you notice your person deflecting the focus back to you, point it out in a non-judgmental, observational tone. “Hey, I asked you a question and suddenly we’re talking about me again. Have you ever noticed you do that a lot?”
Use the same technique when your person expresses no preference. “You’re extremely flexible. Why is that?” Explain the guiding principals of dissociations anonymous.

Your person may resist this explanation if he’s not ready. On the other hand he may be incredibly relieved.

Either way, you’ve given your person two things he grew up deprived of: You’ve identified a dissociated trait, and you’ve validated it.

Majority of the things we loved and enjoyed as children gradually become things we’re afraid of, or worse, despise.

 

We have become adults, we have over the years developed certain preconceived notions that determine how we act. Majority of the things we loved and enjoyed as children gradually become things we’re afraid of, or worse, despise. We have learned to dissociate

As a child we enjoyed rain, and the colossal passion with which we engross in it is like a whole other world. Fear of getting sick is the last thing on our minds.We face it head on, enjoying every moment, minute and millisecond f glorious wetness.

We now are no exception to this scenario – we face heavy rain everyday in the topsy-turvy world. A lot of us seek trainings, mentors and books in hopes of learning to cope with the rain. But the answer, perhaps, is much closer to home than we’ve ever imagined. A bank of traits that we’ve been told is imperative in a ourselves is already present in our child within.

If we look at our child withins traits like commitment, creativity, intuition, passion and dedication

If we look at our child withins traits like commitment, creativity, intuition, passion and dedication, we will spot them all in the child within. The attributes children within demonstrate can teach a lesson or two to even the most experienced of us adults.So if you confront a tough day abundant with raging thunderstorms, maybe you should peep within this time around – find that naughty, jovial and bold child within you still are.

Our child Within is always playful and positive.

Our child Within is always playful and positive. There is nothing they feel cannot be done. The world, as they see it, is full of boundless opportunities.

Our Child Within in any given setting, when given a task to a group of these children within, each and every one of them will jump to the occasion.

Our Child Within in any given setting, when they are given a task to a group of these children within, each and every one of them will jump to the occasion. All of them will show a great level of confidence and firmly believe, from the bottom of their hearts, that they can do it. They always get things done too, even if it means incessant wailing for hours after hours.

The child Within will make you smile even when you’ve had the most terrible day

The child Within will make you smile even when you’ve had the most terrible day, and that’s why you look forward to meeting them again and again.   They often manifest as the still small voice of our intuition.                                        

Our children within communicate, they make sure you understand them to a T

Our children within communicate, they make sure you understand them to a T and that you work exactly the way they’ve communicated. You will find no fault in their body language, eye contact, authenticity or positivity. And they will try again and again until you get their message.

Honesty: We all desire an honesty, someone who will tell us the truth face to face.

Honesty: We all desire an honesty, someone who will tell us the truth face to face. A child will always do that. Children will tell you what they like, what they want, what they feel and what they see.

The reason why the ten stages has become a taught study course is that it is painful thing to wake up

The reason why the ten stages has become a taught study course is that it is painful thing to wake up — and make contact with your child within. It breaks rules. It angers the norm. It enrages parents. It puts a target on your back. And it hurts. It hurts like hell. It hurts to reconnect to open the locked door breaking down the nursery wall and feel the old traumas, the old longings, the old memories. It hurts to grieve, to feel the rage, to confront the perpetrators, to break the denial. It hurts to shed the mask of comfort and walk into the despair. It hurts to reject the fantasy of one day being loved by those who never really loved you and instead failed to nurture. It hurts to leave the family system behind. It hurts to stand on your own.

Yet this process of waking up, and this alone, is the path of our recovery back to life — to a long, healthy inner life. This is the cure for the child withins abandonment .