When we identify the voice of denial from our old ancestral limbic system

When we identify the voice of denial from our old ancestral limbic system :we give up the need to be right, we communicate and listen on a deeper level, with more understanding and acceptance, and with less judgment and resistance. This is how recovery dialogues move forward and connections deepen. Also, our openness almost always encourages openness in those with whom we communicate.

The need to be right is the need of the limbic survival system.

What if you didn't need to be "right" in the eyes of others?

What if you could win an argument by allowing the other person to be "right"?

What if you could simply listen to what others have to say and attempt to step into their experience and understand it, even if you don't agree with it?

You can understand how and why someone feels the way they do without agreeing with them.

And, a funny thing happens when you simply listen to someone and empathise with their experience (which is not the same thing as agreeing)...

The fight tends to end.

The disagreement tends to die down. The tension goes away.

How can you do this?

First, calm yourself down.

Go for a walk.

Meditate.

Take a yoga class.

Calm down your nervous system.

Then, set your intention to simply listen to whomever you are in a disagreement with.

Get curious about their experience without agreeing or trying to fix anything.

Ask questions about why they feel this way and try to get to the underlying emotion.

Then, repeat back what you heard them say... using their words and ask if you missed anything.

They may clarify and share more... then reflect that back.

This simple listening exercise... and surrendering the need to be right will create positive change in all your relationships.

You don't need to fix them. You don't need to fix the problem. You don't need to be right.
Just listen.
Set your intention to understand. Get curious. Ask questions. Dive deeper. Reflect back what you heard.

And - you can understand how someone is feeling.... without agreeing with them.

And, you can agree they feel and believe what they do, without agreeing with the conclusions they've come to about why they feel that way.

They are their own person.

And so are you.

Needing to be right is a strategy that will leave you alone... and without any meaningful relationships.

Cultivating an ability to listen and empathise is a master skill when it comes to be successful in Recovery and in life.

Are you ready to give up the need to be right?

What positive changes could happen if you did?

The Curse of Ancestor worship

An ancient practice that has great relevance in the Ten Stages. The Curse of Ancestor worship involves religious beliefs and practices consisting of prayers and offerings to the spirits of dead relatives. 

Ancestor worship is found in many cultures all across the world. Prayers and offerings are made because it’s believed the spirits of ancestors live on in the natural world and are thus able to influence the futures and fortunes of the living relatives. Ancestors’ spirits are also thought to act as mediators between the living and the Creator.

Death was not the sole criterion for being worshipped as an ancestor. The person must have lived a moral life with great social distinction in order to attain that status. Ancestors are believed to influence the lives of later generations by blessing or cursing them, in essence acting as gods. So praying to them, presenting them with gifts, and making offerings are done to appease them and gain their favor.

Evidence of ancestor worship has been found at sites in the Near East in Jericho dating to the 7th century before Christ. It existed in ancient Greek and Roman cultures as well. Ancestor worship has had its greatest influence on Chinese and African religions and is found in Japanese and Native American religions where it’s better known as ancestor reverence.