Our fear related memories are stored by the child within

Our fear related memories are stored by the child within with no reasoning attached to them. They have never been elevated to a conscious level. As adults, when these memories get triggered, we can feel shaky or queasy but not know why, we don’t realize that some of that stored fear from the past, is getting triggered in the present, making the situation today feel more overwhelming and unmanageable than it might otherwise. As our feelings of fear get more intense, the context or situation we’re in can feel threatening but we don’t necessarily know why. Then we erroneously decide that whatever is triggering is the source of our fear, we do not realize what from our past may be leaking into our present.

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True Recovery comes through our child within.

True Recovery comes through our child within. The perfect conduit for recovery is an honest person—pure of heart, healed of trauma. For recovery to come through us without distortion, we must not be barricaded by defences or poisoned by wounds from our past. We must be the clear vessel, the child within.

If we are living not from our child within but from a defended, distorted reality we will fail to recover truly. If, in childhood, we have hidden our true selves from the crippling clutches of our parents and a world that would crush us and we have not healed this, our adult expressions of recovering will be distorted. Until our child within is redeemed, our recovery will be filtered through our child’s murky memories of terror and betrayal and will always have a hidden agenda: a secret, unconscious need for rescue, and when that fails—revenge. We will be incapable of affirming the fullness of life in those we claim to love and we will even doubt our own child within—and withhold affection from ourselves.

The source of our compromised ability to recover is rooted in the necessary defences that we built in childhood. We built these emotional defences to protect our child within from the violations we received from our parents and others. Until we carefully dismantle our defences through the painful grieving process, they will cloud and distort our recovery. If we refuse to heal, our attempts to recover will never be true.

But if we do heal, if we do grieve our traumas, we will be able to love, deeply and truly our child within.

Our unconscious is a mental repository that holds our repressed feelings and experiences

Our unconscious is a mental repository that holds our repressed feelings and experiences—all that was too painful to feel or know at the time it occurred and all that remains so. These troubling experiences usually occur in childhood, that vulnerable time of life when we were trapped in our situations and when the implications of what we saw and experienced overwhelmed us. To save our sanity we held these difficult feelings and experiences for a later time, in hopes that we would become strong enough and authentic enough to bear their emotional impact.

It is painful to process anything in the unconscious. But the hardest experiences to process are the betrayals of our parents. It is a sad fact that the people who should have loved and protected us the most instead failed us the most. Yet only a person who has experienced enough adult autonomy and separation from his or her parents can withstand the emotional onslaught of repressed feelings and memories when they emerge. For many it is too much to ask; they become as overwhelmed as they were when they were children.

It is important to note that trauma is not all that lives in our unconscious. Also repressed in our mental repository is our full palette of creativity, authenticity, and originality. These gifts were not welcomed in an emotionally constricted family or society. So when the pain of unresolved traumas comes out, so too do our positive gifts.

But what happens if we don’t process what lives hidden within us? This holding bin of repressed trauma and thwarted creativity saved us as children but it destroys us as adults. All that lives in our unconscious begins to fester and make its presence known through symptoms—physical or emotional. Here the unconscious rules our life. And can rule our unconscious species.

Even though symptoms may be painful, they really are our friends—for they tell us that something has gone wrong. Our symptoms tell us that our version of a perfect childhood, or our family’s version of a perfect family, is not true. We begin to suspect that something occurred in our history that has hurt us. Eruptions from the unconscious are really seismic helpers. As painful as they may be, they are an emergence of repressed material that needs our healing, love, and attention. They can save our lives—and our whole lost species. In fact, without them we are lost.

Those who cannot keep up with the acceleration of change now occurring at he Stages

Those who cannot keep up with the acceleration of change now occurring at he Stages, those who refuse to grow, are screaming at those who can, screaming for attention and love in the only way they know how - with anger.

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We all have a child within that part of our identity that is free, spontaneous and creative

We all have a child within that part of our identity that is free, spontaneous and creative and also completely impulsive in getting its childhood needs met. If you spend time with a 2-year-old, you can easily see their child within play out -- they are full of joy in the moment and tell you directly what they want and how they feel. Of course sometimes dealing with a toddler is akin to trying to manage a disordered adult. They have a tendency to express their negative feelings with irrational rage in the form of tantrums and have the tenacity of a pit bull when it comes to getting the object of their immediate fancy -- regardless of adult protest. As children develop into adults the  child within becomes less and less obvious and takes a backseat to adolescent and eventually adult maturity.

But those basics needs of the child however, are all still present. Sigmund Freud theorized that the mind is composed of the "Id," "Ego" and "Superego." The id represents our basic instincts and drive; the superego operates as a moral compass over the id. As children develop, the ego becomes more and more refined in the task of mediating between the id's urges/impulses with the superego's quest for doing 'good' for the long term.

When emotionally overwhelmed, we tend to regress and revert to childhood strategies to get our needs met. When the mind is overloaded it is natural to look for immediate gratification. It's at those times that the id or child within might wreak havoc on our relationships, and our life. We who are chronically overloaded with stress, life transitions, medical conditions or chronic relationship conflict often rely on childhood strategies to get our needs met. And for those of us who were not adequately nurtured or made to feel safe in childhood, their child within will play out destructively throughout adulthood.

Allowing our child within out means we are constantly indulging our immediate needs and we never get to see that we can tolerate not getting everything just our way all of the time. The child within becomes an adult who inside feels weak and terrified but projects strength by using rage as ammunition. As we see we can tolerate distress and improve our relationships without these tactics we will no longer rely on the child within to handle our adult issues. This leads to increased confidence and positive feelings of self worth.

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As we grow in our recovery, we leave others behind.

As we grow in our recovery, we leave others behind. We outgrow certain relationships and part company with those who cannot grow with us. We seek souls with whom we have an affinity—those who nurture our developing sense of child within and our intuitive voice our deepening wonder at life.

As we wake up, we leave behind those invested in fellowship sleep and dissociation. As close as our relationships may have been in the past, our convulsions of consciousness are not welcome to those who remain in dissociated oblivion. Our very presence disturbs them and they retaliate by denigrating the awareness of our recovery. We must be very careful not to allow other fellowships to deadened our life force to numb our newly-won vitality. We must guard our precious perceptions and not squander these treasures on those whose defences would undermine their meaning.

We are afraid of ourselves.

We are afraid of ourselves. self-referencing in the age of celebrity worship,celebrity worship may involve empathy with a celebrity’s failures and successes, obsessions with the details of a celebrity’s life, and over-identification with the celebrity.people with the most extreme celebrity worship engage in an attributional style that believes the cause of most events in the person’s life are external, that is, they are outside the control of the person experiencing the event. People who have stable, global attributions share such an attribution style with people who are depressed. So people who have the most extreme celebrity worship look to the outside world for explanations, and believe celebrities might hold a piece of that cure.

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We will enter the stages course partially aware of the following symptoms

We will enter the stages course partially aware of the following symptoms, but we may not realise these complications are suggestive of unresolved trauma issues from our childhood:

1. Addictive behaviors – excessively turning to drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, gambling as a way to push difficult emotions and upsetting trauma content further away.

2. An inability to tolerate conflicts with others – having a fear of conflict, running from conflict, avoiding conflict, maintaining skewed perceptions of conflict

3. An inability to tolerate intense feelings, preferring to avoid feeling by any number of ways

4. An innate belief that they are bad, worthless, without value or importance

5. Black and white thinking, all or nothing thinking, even if this approach ends up harming themselves

6. Chronic and repeated suicidal thoughts and feelings

7. Disorganized attachment patterns – having a variety of short but intense relationships, refusing to have any relationships, dysfunctional relationships, frequent love/hate relationships

8. Dissociation, spacing out, losing time, missing time, feeling like you are two completely different people (or more than two)

9. Eating disorders – anorexia, bulimia, obesity, etc

10. Excessive sense of self-blame – taking on inappropriate responsibility as if everything is their fault, making excessive apologies

11. Inappropriate attachments to mother figures or father figures, even with dysfunctional or unhealthy people

12. Intense anxiety and repeated panic attacks

13. Intrusive thoughts, upsetting visual images, flashbacks, body memories / unexplained body pain, or distressing nightmares

14. Ongoing, chronic depression

15. Repeatedly acting from a victim role in current day relationships

16. Repeatedly taking on the rescuer role, even when inappropriate to do so

17. Self-harm, self-mutilation, self-injury, self-destruction

18. Suicidal actions and behaviors, failed attempts to suicide

19. Taking the perpetrator role / angry aggressor in relationships

20. Unexplained but intense fears of people, places, things

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There are three time zones each of us deal with at the stages: past, present and future.

There are three time zones each of us deal with at the stages: past, present and future.

How well you navigate your relationship with these three time zones greatly determines the quality of your life.

If you have a crappy relationship with your past?

Well you drag it into your present and your future.

If you have a crappy relationship with the present?

You go to the past and the future and never quite get things grounded.

And what if you have a crappy relationship with the future?

Well – that is just a formula for anxiety.

Trust me, We are well associated with each time zone. Each has created stress, anxiety and regret. But – when we make peace with these time zones, we begin to live the life we really want.

For this blog, I just want to focus on the future.

Here are some of the ways I deal with anxiety about the future.

1. Look for evidence that all your needs are met.
Look around right now. You are alive. You are breathing. You have everything you need to survive. Remembering that I am okay right now – that’s a biggie.

2. Calm your mind.
There is biochemistry to anxiety. Much of our anxiety is in our brain. Take 10-20 minutes to meditate. If you don’t think you have time or you are too stressed to meditate – then you definitely need to do it.

3. Move
Nothing calms me more than Yoga Find a local class or head on over to YogaGlo.com for amazing classes on the internet. Get to the gym. Move your body. This produces endorphins and helps you feel better. Sometimes all you need is a good old fashion sweat.

4. Get your diet right
When I eat too much sugar, gluten or inflammatory foods – it’s hard for me to remain in a positive and healthy mindset. Food has a major effect on how we feel. Take out: all non-raw dairy, gluten and sugar. You might detox for a couple days, but you’ll feel better. Also – up your greens and get in 32 oz of green juice per day.

5. Drink water
Being dehydrated is not good for your system. Drink at least 8-10 glasses of water per day.

6. Create a vision board
We can forget what we want. When you have a vision board it helps to remind you of your goals each and every day.

7. Surround yourself with positive people.
You can tell how far you go in life based on the expectations of your peer group. When you have awesome friends, people who lift you up – this can help with your future tripping.

8. Get a stages guide.
Get someone you can tell the truth to. Someone who can give you expert advice and a mature perspective on your life. Every successful athlete or individual has coaches and mentors that can see their blind spots.

9. Get grateful.
When you focus on the things that you are already grateful for – you see more things to be grateful for. This can be huge. Many times we future trip because we are only thinking about the bad or negative stuff. Train your mind to also look for what’s going well and what you can be grateful for.

11. Surrender it all
Trust that you whole life is organised and arranged by contact with your child within. Surrender the outcome. Know that things are happening perfectly. And even though they may not make sense right now – it will. Just take one stage. Don’t worry about the whole journey.  Trust the process.

12. Take courageous action
Many time we are stressed about the future because we know there are things we can be doing now. But many times those things really scare us. Get courageous and take action. Courageous action is the name of the game.

I hope these have helped you understand how you can stop future tripping.

Just by making contact with the child within starts an attempt to make an empathetic listening environment that engenders the process of building a new recovered self and the journey towards maturity begins

Just by making contact with the child within starts an attempt to make an empathetic listening environment that engenders the process of building a new recovered self and the journey towards maturity begins.we start to listen and accommodate without blame our childhood history we begin to understand the events that happened which caused our addiction towards anxiety and chaos. As our child within is removed from its abusive environment provided with a loving and nurturing new world by re-parenting, then healing will occur and the effects of child abuse start to be minimised and reversed.For the child within it is a question of building redundancy into the equation the child has built up strong survival mechanisms that require a gentle teasing apart in a supportive community of like minded students a kinder garden of trust.The survival of the child within has to be positively acknowledged in the terms of a child
This Kinder garden of trust becomes the new safe environment for the child within to explore a new scenario with others who have suffered childhood abuse and neglect. Most children do not get rescued from child abuse. They must endure it for a lifetime, and in order to adapt to this hostile environment, the mind becomes negatively altered develops coping mechanisms that become maladaptive in adult life engaging in their own destructive behaviours such as alcohol and drug addiction and relationships with abusive people. We believe that brain changes can take place in adulthood, the more time that passes between the actual abuse and the initiation of intervention, the more deep-rooted the coping strategies will have become, and the more time needs to be expended in recovery.Recovery is learned by the child within as a new safe environment where the child can become safe,trusted and loved by itself into green pastures of mental health.
The child hidden within who have been abused develop a variety of self-defeating beliefs about themselves and the world. They view bad events in a self-blaming way, which undermines self-esteem and encourages depression and helplessness. This cycle of interference with the adult thought process in cognitive functioning only amplifies and perpetuates the negative thinking pattern of the child withins hidden coping strategies.We have to remove the judgemental voice that reechoes the messages from the past from our lives, unfortunately this is the voice of the caring professions who constantly reinforce the negative messages of our childhood, teachers,doctors and psychologists fail to understand the child withins problems and become by default uncaring parents who fail to understand childhood needs for loving-kindness and may be suffering themselves from the condition they are trying to alleviate.

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The Ten Stages is a reawakening to our angry child that over the years we have chosen to ignore.

The Ten Stages is a reawakening to our angry child that over the years we have chosen to ignore.The Stages is life enhancing for everyone, but does not seek a spiritual awakening.Only humbly requesting a period of grace and the wisdom to reconnect with our abused child within. For in reconnection we become once more liberated and in touch with our own intuitive voice. We do not expect re-connection to take place overnight, yet for some this does take place. We expect a period of grief, pain and suffering for our years in the wilderness of our dreams and lack of connection to the reality of life. A period of disconnection and pain ruled by a childish unfulfilled need for attachment and longing.
The Ten Stages does not cure you but recovers you, its a deconstruction process not a reconstruction process. We need to make a journey within to the painful void of childhood longings and misunderstanding of half messages and cruel abuse, unmet needs.The Stages makes no promises or instant fixes but attempts to heal childhood wounds and recriminations that bubble up in our adult day to day living, by reconnection, meditation and periods of grief. We return to childhood to gain the answers from our child within communicating through creativity, loving kindness and compassion we develop listening skills, trust and empathy for ourselves.

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